First Trimester: Summary
First trimester, for me, was filled with excitement, nausea, disbelief, and fear! Every time I thought about being pregnant I was shocked and excited.
I think I was pretty lucky first trimester. I did have nausea about every other day, but that nausea hardly ever turned into anything more and for that I am grateful. I have known and heard many women that have had much worse experiences in the morning sickness department. Speaking of "morning sickness", what a terrible name for something that happens at ANY time of day! In fact I hardly ever had it in the morning, it was typically afternoon/ evening for me. I was also very tired, and in a different way than I had experienced. It is 5:30pm and almost instantly I struggled to keep my eyes open. My body was working hard, and I was feeling it.
Despite the bloating (ughhh), my body starting to change (woo boobs!), the nausea and exhaustion, I could not believe it was real. Seeing the pregnancy test that I kept out on the counter, or even just simply thinking about it, I was in utter disbelief! Was I really going to have a baby?! Did it actually happen?! I was also surprised at how much I felt like this, the disbelief was real, often, and surprising in and of itself.
Each change and step of the process made it a little more real. I really valued each appointment and being able to see and hear the development, but truly, even still, it was hard to wrap my brain around.
It felt too good to be true, and for that reason I was also scared. I was scared so often that something was going to go wrong and all my happiness would turn into devastation. This really came to a peak before each doctor's appointment. I could not wait to hear the little heartbeat, but I was so afraid that it was not going to be there. I could not wait to get to 12 weeks and feel like I could take a breath, to be out of the "danger zone". I would lay awake for hours at night and research strollers and carseats, so incredibly excited, but also in the back of my mind praying that I wasn't getting ahead of myself.
It was a time of such mixed emotion. How could I be so excited for this little one and at the same time not believe it was real and also scared it was all going to disappear.
First trimester is a crazy time, but we make it through. Next pregnancy I will not only be better prepared and know that it is normal, but also smile knowing that second trimester is coming and it is SO MUCH BETTER!